Awaiting Paradise

It's quiet here away from my home in Joco.  The only sound comes from my music player which sings me "Llevame a la Cruz" by Hillsong, and I yearn to pluck the strings of the guitar I left. 

I love the stillness here, but I will grow weary of it after a few days and will soon long for the clamor of my 13 person Mexican tribe. 

Whispers of little voices on the wind, with their dozens of white baby teeth showing, my heart will flicker and the flame will warm the depths of my soul, renewing my spirit and showing me, once again, a glimpse of Paradise.

Confessions Of a (Fill in the Blank)

Can I just say that I absolutely love driving down the road with the windows down and inhaling the scent of honeysuckles?  Honeysuckles just bring on a flood of memories for me.  Mainly being at my grandparents house with my grandpa and him showing me how to slowly pull the stem out, revealing the tiny drop of clear sweetness.  I showed my niece how to do that recently and failed miserably.  She was bored after 10 seconds.

It never fails that something else grabs our attention so quickly.  When I was kid, I can remember spending so much time outside, but then again, I can also remember spending so much time in front of the TV.  A couple of days ago, I found some videos on Youtube showing me all of the best 80's & 90's kid shows, and I could sing the lyrics to nearly all of the opening songs.  I'll be honest, it was so much fun!  But really, when I started to think about it, I noticed that the list of kid TV shows got longer and longer.  So much time wasted.

I've been thinking a lot lately on how we are only given so much time here in this place.  80 years if you're lucky.  We don't even know how long we have.  I shouldn't waste it watching nonsense, but I do it all the time!  For some reason it's just thrilling to transport yourself to an island in the Pacific with 40+ passengers of a crashed plane (Oceanic 815), flying the Millennium Falcon throughout the galaxy while using the Force to keep your spaceship together or hunting down a legendary gunman who is worth 60 billion double dollars and then realizing that he is, in fact, a kindhearted man who prevents killings.  Maybe it's just that we want our lives to look more like movies and TV shows, interesting and exciting.  I know there are many of you out there who think this way.  Whether you're currently depressed and you push in that old 2 tape, VHS of Titanic or if you are so overwhelmed and busy that you just want to veg out for a while, it can become very routine to sit down every night to watch something.  I've been there, guys. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that movies are bad, but it's when the obsession takes over when, I believe, it becomes a bad thing.  In high school, I can remember sometimes watching movies all day long.  If you were to take the TV away, you would be left sitting (or laying) and looking in the same direction for hours on end.  I constantly have to put limits on how much I watch because I know that it can become an addiction for me.  But I still fail at this.


One day, I felt God telling me to get rid of some of the junk in my life.  I had over 250 DVD's, and with the help of my best friend, Holly, I cut that down to 96 movies.  Not that my movies were horrible, X rated movies or anything.  I just had SO many.  Who needs that many movies?  Now, some of you who are reading this are probably thinking, "Woah, 96 movies is still a lot."  I'll admit it.  It's still a lot.  And I'm working on it.

We all have a story.  And if we all just sat down and told our stories to each other, I'm sure we would find something incredibly interesting about each one.  Tear jerking romance and thrilling action and adventure.  Compassion.  Heartache.  Confession.  Miracles.  Love.  One thing we need to remember is that TV shows and movies are NOT real life.  Real life is what we do everyday, and we should start living each day as if we were about to crash into a deserted island. 

I just don't want to wake up one day, look back at my life and say, "Where did the last 10 years of my life go?  Oh, yeah, I was watching other people live."  I don't want to take advantage of this time I've been given.  This is something I am continuously working on.

Here's a list thingy:

What to do instead of "obsessively" transporting yourself into an alternate reality

•Play guitar.
•Write a blog
•Write short stories or poetry or a song
•Open a history book and learn something new
•Sing
•Talk to God
•Read (Bible, Hunger Games etc.)
•Go outside
•Volunteer your time
•Hang out with friends or make friends
•Move to another country.  (See my other blog Nomadmemoirs)
•Draw or Paint
•Hike
•Surf
•Climb
•Play
•Love


See ya'll in the funny papers!

Erin.

He is Building a Palace

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

--C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity) 

Wow.  When I read anything by C.S. Lewis, my mouth drops open at how well he put things into perspective.  He got it.  I think I'll have a C. S. Lewis binge later.  :)

So many times in my life, I wonder what on earth is going on here?  Why am I still in America and not on the mission field?  Why do I have all of these loans?  Why do families break apart, why do friends have to hurt and why do relationships fail?  What could I possible have to learn from any of this?

Over time, I've learned a small bit about what C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity.  God is making me into something better.  He's molding and shaping me into something that I had no idea could exist.  Sometimes I'm just stunned at how big God is and how much He loves me.  Loves me enough to make me into something else?  A new creation?  That, my friends, simply amazes me.  Even that God would call me to love and take care of orphans just makes me ecstatic.  I just thought I'd share.

All for now!

See ya in the funny papers!

Erin.

The Art of a Motorcycle Ride in Late May

Yesterday my car died.  It DIED.  My dad got a tow truck to bring it home for me when he went to town today.  Now it's sitting in the backyard as "lawn art."  You know, like those toilet bowls that have an arrangement of flowers growing out of it?  Yeah, like that.  (And I really saw that in the front yard of a person's house one time.  Not kidding.)  So today, because of my car's death, I was stranded.  I had wanted to go hiking, but instead I asked my Dad if we could go for a motorcycle ride.  And we rode all day, from 1pm- 7pm.  That's 6 hours!  But we did stop a flea market for about an hour, but the rest was pure riding.

So many things went through my mind as we rode today:

That's a pretty tree.  Wow, the sky is so big!  Is that country music that we are listening to?  I want to play this song on the guitar.  WOAH, BIG CURVE!!!  Wow, God, you are amazing.  What a beautiful world.  I want to write a magazine about small town life and tell people where great places to eat, camp and play are in Tennessee.  Is that horse rolling around on the ground?  My butt hurts.

Hahaha, but seriously,  I thought all of those things while riding today.  And now for a plethora of bike pictures!  I took them all on my camera phone and they are pretty clear considering that I took them on my camera phone.      

Ridin'

TieDye

Metal Bridge

Dad

Braids

Helmet

Roads

Green Grass and High Tides Forever

Shadows

Sunset

My Backyard: Tennessee

Leif Garrett

Purple Flowers

Pretty Red's

Tree Tops

Baby Blackberry's

One Blue Eye, One Brown Eye

Happy Pup

Honey Suckles

Wild Berry

Blowin' in the Wind

You gotta be tough to live in a Swamp. Just sayin'.

I just finished my Orange Carrot Sobe, and I immediately want another one. Who knew that Oranges and Carrots mixed together would be so yummy. I definitely didn't. Not to mention, it has this really cool gecko thing on it. Which, gecko's bring me to my first topic of conversation:

Swamp People:

Oh my goodness, I watched this show for the first time last night and it was crazy cool. There are like 20 teams of these guys (and gals, and 1 dog) who once a year hunt gators in the Bayou in Louisiana. I never thought I would like a show like this but I did. My favorite is their Cajun accents. And the gators too, I guess. But dude, these men (and women, and 1 dog) are tough. I guess you have to be tough to hunt and wrestle alligators. If I was gonna go to a swamp, I would want these guys (women, and 1 dog) to be my guide.

Onward.

It's raining like crazy here. I went to post office earlier, which brings me to my next topic of conversation.

Small Town People:

I grew up in the country. Grassy. Sunny. Nice air. But I haven't always liked it. I've been living here since I graduated college, (grew up here) I've gotten used to it again. People seem to take their time out here. Time passes slower. Most people are super nice. I talked to a guy (who was sweeping the floor) today at the post office that I had only seen once before and that was at the post office. We struck up a conversation as though we were long lost friends. He showed me a picture of his daughter and told me about where she was going to school and that he was going to to buy a car soon. He told me all kinds of stuff. Can I just say that I love striking up a conversation with someone I don't really know, like waitresses or a postman or Kevin Costner. (haha, just kidding about the last one. But I really wish I could strike up a conversation with that man. I wonder how that would go?)

Well, that's all for today, I reckon. (Had to put on my small town accent.)

Going home now. Gotta watch out for the zombies.

See ya'll in the funny papers.

Erin.

Nostalgia and God

I found this post in my Drafts Folder and thought I would throw it up here. I had forgotten about all of this. It's amazing how you can sometimes forget about the valley you had gone through when you are climbing to the top of the mountain again. I just know that God takes care of everything. Even though we don't think so at the time.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
-Romans 8:28

11/4/10
---
So here I am again. I'm sitting in this old, black computer chair once more, writing about my life and sending it into the vast, world wide web for random people to read. There are so many emotions and thoughts bouncing around in the confines of my head that I just can't process it all. I feel that if I don't get this all out then I will explode! Where do I even begin?

About a month ago, I went to visit my two best friends in the whole world. On the way there, I found myself with windows down, cool wind blowing through my hair and music from The Fray relaxing me. That alone brought on a rush of Nostalgia. The Fray: College. Cool air of Autumn: College. Classes. Friends. Windows down: College. Friends. Community. Lots of et cetera's. I usually love it when I get these bursts of Nostalgia but, for some reason, I couldn't help but feel sad. I miss college: Classes and Chapel. I miss friends: I took for granted that I got to see them every day. I miss a lot of things.

My disease is troubling me. I have found solace in a friend who has a similar (almost exact) condition. When I need help figuring out why I feel sick for no reason, he helps. When I wake up I usually have dreadful nausea, until I take my medicine. Then I usually feel okay. If not, there's always the Pepto. It can definitely be frustrating when trying to find a job or plan a mission trip. If I feel the slightest bit sick, the stress begins. Then I have to calm myself down, because the stress makes me sick.

But through all of this, I haven't forgotten God. Through the sadness and joy; Through the heartaches and love, I have grown closer to God. Even with hardly any money and me living with my parents, I have found that God provides. Even when I'm so sick, and I just feel like crying in a corner, I praise God anyway. This is my life. Whether I'm sick or feeling well. Whether I'm in a foreign land or in Tennessee, God is in control.
---

Wow, back to the present (4/13/2011) now. I haven't been sick in months (sick as in no more everyday nausea. I still have my disease.) I used to dread mornings and now I don't! I used to think that I wouldn't make it to the mission field. I am in the process now of getting to the mission field. My loans are getting paid off little by little. Life is good. Life is awesome! Life is swell!

See ya in the funny papers!

Erin.