Wait For the Lord

I am the type of person who likes to have somewhat of a plan. I can be spontaneous and I love it only not when it comes to important things like looking for jobs and planning vacations and such. As I mentioned in my last post, I was really upset and frustrated about a lot of things that were not working as planned. I have decided to stop trying to plan everything out ahead of time. For example: I am anxious to get off of my campus once I graduate. I am so excited! I get so excited that I start looking into apartments and I try to find the perfect one so that when I'm ready to move everything will be ready for me. However, doing this becomes a very upsetting task for me. I get so wrapped up in my plans that I forget about what is happening right here and right now! I make myself believe that moving will happen soon (like the next day) when it is in all actuality about 5 months away. I get so wrapped up in things that I ruin what is happening in my life right then in that very moment. It truly sucks. The main thing that I have been thinking and planning for is my future wedding. I have never been one of those girls, you know the ones who don't even have boyfriends and they have everything planned out down to the wedding dress. Yeah, I wasn't like that. But now I have turned into that and I'm not even engaged yet. My boyfriend and I know that we will get married we just don't know when. It's really been hurting me because I will get so excited and I have all theses great plans and really and truly I have no idea when I'm getting engaged or married for that matter. But I found the solution to the problem! I had to give all that over to God and let him handle my future. Even as I type this I am handing myself over to God. A few days ago I wrapped up everything that I had that dealt with weddings; a magazine, some labeled printouts, and many pictures of what I liked. Even honeymoon ideas, cruises, etc. I wrapped everything in about 5 or 6 pieces of college ruled notebook paper and taped it up so that it would take a bomb get into it. Then I gave it to my boyfriend and told him not to give it to me until we were engaged. He has it now. I made myself stop going to online wedding sites "just to look," because it had become an obsession.

I really do have a problem waiting on God. I was reading about Sarah and Abraham today and Sarah had to wait until she was 90 years old before she had her child Isaac. She had to wait for God's perfect timing. Sarah even laughed at God for telling her that she would have a son when she was old.

I want to be faithful and fully reliant on God. I need an extreme mind change. If you pray, pray that I will find patience and understanding.

See ya virtual world.
Needing patience and understanding.
Erin.