A Sunday Evening Ride

As I drifted into sleep, I could hear my dad's yell echo through the confines of my mind.

"Erin!"

My eyes blinked open and then lazily fell shut again. It felt like seconds had passed.

"Erin, wanna go for a ride on the bike?"

I opened my eyes again and sat upright. The black Playstation controller was on my belly; Final Fantasy XII paused on the TV before me. I flipped the button on the back of the machine and the green light vanished. I pulled on a pair of jeans and some shoes and made my way outside to the white Honda Goldwing in the yard. We shoved on our helmets, climbed on the bike and rode down the winding ridge to the main road that went to town.

The air was hot as we drove over a green bridge; the cool lake looking lovely below. The sky was bright at 5pm, a sign of summer, and I could pick out figures in the clouds. Babe Ruth with his baseball cap on. A dog. A devil. Castles in the clouds. We cruised along the curvy road, just following wherever it led us.

"Whoa! Big curve!" my dad yelled as he quickly tapped the breaks. I looked up, my stomach burning. All the excitement and nervousness of that curve was bundled inside of me as I gripped the arm rests. I imagined us sliding across the asphalt; both of our legs pinned under the bike, the thick jeans and skin scrapping away under the road. It stung. I grabbed my stomach as we passed the curve safely and continued onward.

We stopped on the side of the road to look at the water falls at the state park. I saw a man sitting on the rock fence taking pictures of the water in the gorge below with his red camera. My dad and I walked to the overlook.

"How's it going?" asked my dad, standing next to the man with the camera. He said hello back and we all talked about how pretty the park was compared to the others in Tennessee. He was coming back from a visit with his girlfriend in Atlanta and was visiting all the parks on his way back home.

"A lot of people think that Fall Creek Falls is the best park around, but I think this one is the prettiest and most fun," said the man.

"Yeah, I agree," said my dad. "Let's not tell anyone though. I like this park without all the traffic."


Cliff divers were standing below and we watched curiously. Two guys and a girl looked as though they were inspecting the height of the cliffs and the depth of the water. We all yelled to them together:

"You can do it!"

"Jump! Jump!"

"Come on!"

They all looked up at us and gave us a thumbs up. The first boy ran and jumped into the icy water. The second boy followed and then swam under the waterfall. The girl stood still at the top of the cliff. We clapped and waited for the girl. It took her a while to get her nerve, but we cheered her on and she finally jumped. We clapped again, said goodbye to the man we had met and got back on the bike.

We rode on down to the next town over until we found a yellow Waffle House. We went in and met Sarah, our waitress. We all talked about our jobs and the bike and found out that we knew a lot of the same people, which is what happens in a small town. We ate our chicken melts and drank our five glasses of sweet tea before heading outside to the bike. Sarah was on her break, and she sat down on the sidewalk to smoke. We talked some more before she had to go back inside, when three older ladies walked by, one saying how much she would love to go on a bike road trip. She had never been on a bike before and looked at it with longing eyes.

"I can take you for a ride if you want," said my dad.

She just shook her head and continued to tell us about the people from her church who had bikes, and one man who had an Indian bike. When they went inside, we put our helmets back on and climbed on the bike.

"We've met a lot of nice people today," I said.

"Yeah, there's still a lot of good people in the world," said my dad, gripping the handles and getting us back to the road.

The sun was setting, turning the sky red, pink and purple. Clouds streaked across the canvas and the light blue sky soon faded to black. A small crescent moon emerged along with a single star. I could see the lightening bugs now, slowly blinking in the fields along side us. It was cooler now, darkness enveloping us as we made our way into the valley ahead. The hills rose up from the earth on both sides of us. I could hear the bike's engine accelerate as it pulled itself up the steep hill. We would be out of the valley soon and climbing up to the top, to the ridge, where our brick house stood, lights on and waiting.

Hiking at 6 am

4am. My alarm clock buzzed loudly, and my hand came down on the snooze button hard. I rolled back over next to my dachshund, Aubey, (named after the Auburn Tigers) and pulled the covers over my head. I listened. My sister wasn't awake yet. A few more minutes of sleep.

My alarm buzzed loudly again. 4:20 am. I could hear my sister now, walking through the hallway. My door squeaked open and she groggily said, "Time to get ready." I touched my feet to the cold, wooden floor and rubbed my eyes. "Okay," I said, leaving Aubey under the comforter.

The house was dark. Mom and dad were still sleeping as we pulled on our clothes and packed our new Army bags with supplies. Hailey packed her bag with band aids, gauze and tape. "I'm going to be the medic," she said. I nodded and bit down on the blueberry pop tart I was holding.

It was 5am when we got into my car. We threw our bags in the back seat, and I drove down our gravel driveway and onto the twisting ridge. Hailey took my Tom Petty CD from its case and put it in the player. Breakdown. We sang along as we drove through our ghost-like town, passing three cars on the way to the state park. The wind was cool as it passed through the windows, rustling our hair.

It was foggy and crowd-less when we got to the park. I drove into a gravel parking lot and the car door grunted open. We put on our bags and sprayed ourselves down with bug spray. The sunblock we had packed wasn't needed. The sign at the start of the trail said 3 miles and we took off excited about our morning hike.

During the first five minutes of our hike, both of us started scratching the top part of our legs. We talked through what could have happened to make us itch that bad and we decided that it couldn't have been poison ivy or oak, an allergic reaction to the bug spray or bug bites. We continued down the winding trail, that followed the river, trying desperately not to scratch our red legs. To keep our minds off of the itch we started singing camp songs and random, half made up songs like, " A hiking we will go. A hiking we will go. Hi ho the derry-o a hiking we will go." When we reached the end of the trail and had sang through a dozen or so camp songs, our legs stopped itching. It was miraculous.

The gorge was next. At 7am we started our hike down the hill to the water. Boulders the size of cars were piled up next to the river and we immediately began climbing up and over them, making our way to the water. As we climbed, I found a small pool of muddy water, reached in, and cupped a tad-pole in my hand. It squirmed around, and I released it back into its small home.

"Let's try to cross," I said. Hailey agreed and we looked for a safe path. When we found a path of small boulders in the river, we took off our shoes, tied them to our bags and tried to get to the other side. The water was frigid when I dipped my foot in and touched the nearest slimy rock. When I felt steady, I slowly moved to the next one, teeth clenched. My sister was behind me, and I stopped to help her. "Grab my hand," I told her. She shook her head. The current was swift and the rocks were slippery. The water was freezing and if either of us were to fall in we would be washed downstream. "I can't do it," she said, watching the water. I reached my hand out to her. "Yes, you can." Hailey got her courage up and reached for the green rock, clinging to it. I tried to continue forward but the current was strong, the water was deep and the gap was long. We turned back and as Hailey started for the rock before her, her bag fell into the water. "No!" she yelled, quickly grabbing it back up. She threw it to the dry rocks, and I followed. When we were both dry, we decided that we wouldn't try it again.

We backtracked toward the trail that would lead us back to the top of the hill until we saw four water falls in the distance. "Look!" I said, pointing at the falls. We climbed over the rocks, the morning sun brushing lightly against our skin. When we reached our destination it looked just like I would envision a paradise. The falls poured over the water carved rocks and into the cold river below. We made our way behind the fall and stood, looking out at the river and the forest beyond it. When we had our fill, we trekked back up the side of the hill and climbed inside my little car. I turned the key and Tom Petty's voice filled the car again. Runnin' down a dream. And we sang along as I drove the winding road back to the town that was just waking from their slumbers.

Speaking of Peace, Love and Rock and Roll...

Tom Petty. Bob Dylan. Stevie Nicks. Led Zeppelin. Creedance Clearwater Revival.

These are only a few of my favorite Rockers. They make me happy. Why am I writing about this, you ask? I have no idea. I just thought it would be fun. Not that anyone cares, but I'm going to see Tom Petty and ZZ Top in concert. I'm super stoked! It's not until August, but I'm already freaking out. It's going to be awesome!

Alright enough of that. So, right now I'm supposed to be looking for a job. But it's just so frustrating! I'll be looking up jobs and then start looking up writing and photography jobs and THEN I start wishing that I could be a photographer for National Geographic. Ahhh. Now that would be awesome! Then I think "I have no idea how to get into something like that," and I begin clicking the Back button on my computer until I'm back to where I was before, "Secretary position available." I mean, how exciting is that?

Speaking of work. I'm not loving my retail job. It's boring. Not to mention all the yelling for no reason thing. GAH! I can't wait to quit.

I feel like right now my life is so boring! Not exciting at all. One day when my life starts to get exciting, I hope I don't decide that my life is still boring, if that makes sense....

Anyway, just a small complaint and a few other things.

I'm off to play Trouble with my family.

See ya friends.

See ya void.

Erin.

Dreams and Sailboats

I haven't written anything in ages. Mainly because I was sick and mainly because I forgot. So, now I will write some random thoughts down from the past and now. I'll try and keep things short.

The end of 2008 and most of 2009 was not a good year for me. I got sick and couldn't really function properly. (As in, couldn't walk around, or hang out or keep food down.)

It was a really lonely time as well. College had ended and me and my two besties (Holly and Karye. Shoutout!) weren't living together anymore. Most of my other college friends were in other states. Yeah, facebook is great and all, but I need more than that.

Anyway, I was really just kind of the walking dead in every aspect in my life. Since I was sick, I couldn't go to church and that was the worst thing I've ever been through. A year of not going to church? Really? All of a sudden I was rolling down the mountain and landed in the valley (and then started sinking in the quicksand that was down there) When I got out of the hospital and had found out what was wrong with me I was really excited because hey! I get to do all these things that I couldn't do before. And I did to a certain extent. Every Saturday night I would say to myself, "Erin, you're going to church tomorrow," but when Sunday came around, I would be sleeping in with the rest of my folks. We tried a few places out but didn't stay for long. It wasn't until two Sunday's ago, that I made myself get up and find a church.

So now I've gone to church 2 Sunday's in a row! How wonderful! I know it sounds really lame...2 Sunday's woop de doo. But I'm excited because I know I will be going next Sunday too. No excuses, no fuss no muss. I'm grabbing the nearest branch that I can see from my sandpit, and pulling myself out of that mess. I'm starting back up that mountain.

So really I just want to say that Erin is back Ladies and Gentlemen. She was gone for a while but now she's here again. Ready to Rumble. Dreaming again. Awakening the passions that had been lost to her in 2008 and 2009. I'm on that road again, with my passions and dreams in hand and ready to face the world. I'm just excited.

I also have this burning desire to buy a sailboat. I think buying one and living on it would just be the most awesome and coolest thing ever. Living simply. Getting rid of all the junk in my life. (Literally) Being el cap-i-tain. Living on the water. Sailing wherever the wind would take me. Of course, I need to take sailing lessons first. I'm gonna save up and try to get that done this summer.

"No, I'll stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin me down
gonna stand my ground. And I won't back down."

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Out goes my post, into the void.

There you go.

Erin.

XM Radio and the Climb

Doing better today. I prayed about everything and I've started the uphill climb. I'm submerging myself in God and trying to stay on track with God. My parents have this XM radio on their TV and they have a christian channel. It's wonderful.

So I'm moving out of my grandparents guest house and into my parents house. I need to go down there today. Maybe I will. Any way, I've got alot of stuff, and I don't think it's all gonna fit in my room. I need to exercise so I think moving around would be a good idea. I was sick for a few days and now I feel like I don't want to move. Ugh.

I've been thinking about how maybe I might do mission corps in about a year. I need to continually talk to God about that that. And get some imput from my friend Emily about what it's like when she gets back from Albania. (Shoutout!!!)

Just some things I've been thinking about today.

Short and sweet.

XM playing TobyMac, Gone.

Erin.

I haven't written anything in a while, and I think it's time to start up again. I think it will be helpful. Right now things just aren't working out according to plan. For those of you who don't know, I'm not going to Fuller. It was all working out until these past couple of weeks. I was getting sick (tired and no appetite) The problem was I wasn't exercising. Mom and Dad mentioned to me that it might not be a great idea to go to Fuller right now. I also to need to pay off my loans. I don't feel funny, as in humerus. As in I don't feel like a funny person. Being hilarious is part of who I am. I need someone around to laugh at what I say. (I know I know, It's not all about me. Maybe I'll get a doll to laugh at me) I don't feel happy a lot like I used too. It's really difficult not having a job. I feel like I don't have any friends. I know that I do have friends, but I think the fact that they are all far away is what is killing me.

The main thing here is because I'm not as close to God right now and need to get close to him. Another thing is I want to be apart of what God is doing is other countries. I feel like I'm just doing nothing when I want to be doing something for God. I want my turn already! I want to go and do. I feel ready to go somewhere for a long period of time. (year) That's my head. I want to be ready for what length of time God has for me. I want and need to be ready with what God wants. I want to make a difference in the world.

I need Jesus right now. And I need to pick myself up off the ground, dust off my hands and stand up. I need to start trekking up the mountain side so I can get myself out of this valley. I want to continually be climbing upward.

TV is off.

Casting Crowns is playing.

Please pray for me.

"Living on my own
Thinking for myself
Castles in the sand
Temporary wealth
Walls are falling down
Storms are closing in
Tears have filled my eyes
Here I am again
And I've held out as long as I can
Now I'm letting go and holding out my hand
Daddy here I am again
Will you take me back tonight?
I went out and made the world my friend
And it left me high and dry
I dragged your name back through the mud
That you first found me in
Not worthy to be called your son
Is this to be my end
Daddy here I am
Here I am

Curse this morning sun,
Drags me into one more day
Of reaping what I've sown
Of living with my shame
Welcome to my world
And the life that I have made
Where one day you're a prince
The next day you're a slave
And I've held out as long as I can
Now I'm letting go and holding out my hand
Daddy here I am again
Will you take me back tonight?
I went out and made the world my friend
And it left me high and dry
I dragged your name back through the mud
That you first found me in
Not worthy to be called your son
Is this to be my end
Daddy here I am
Here I am

And I've held out as long as I can
Now I'm letting go and holding out my hand"

Casting Crowns- Lifesong- Prodigal

Bob Marley and Life Now

"Don't worry 'bout a thing
Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Don't worry 'bout a thing
cause every little thing gonna be alright"
-Bob Marley

I've been thinking alot about Bob Marley and this song lately. I haven't had the best semester. Things keep happening one after another. So many things that I can't even believe. All of those things made me incredibly mad. But, I thought of this song and really, Bob is right. So, I've decided to think about things going right instead of bad. That's what I'm looking toward.

So I'm moving out of my on campus apartment on Friday and going home for christmas break! I'm so excited! I'm living in my grandparents guest house because I'm graduating! I'm really excited. Ahhhh to relax. Lovely.

And yeah, it's two in the morning and I should probably go to bed, but I just wanted to update and say that things are going bad, but I have a good outlook and things are looking up. :)

And I will leave you with these lyrics by The Killers.

Aggressively we all defend the role we play
Regrettably time’s come to send you on your way
We’ve seen it all bonfires of trust flash floods of pain
It doesn’t really matter don’t you worry it’ll all work out
No it doesn’t even matter don’t you worry what it’s all about

We hope you enjoyed your stay
It’s good to have you with us, even if it’s just for the day
We hope you enjoyed your stay
Outside the sun is shining, seems like heaven ain’t far away

And I'm out.
See ya.
See ya void.

Erin.